"my dear boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals"

im beginning to wonder if perhaps the male sex does actually believe this.
its seems if a woman does something good, or worth acknowledging it is considered a surprise. wow! they can create something good after all! in fact making it more of an achievement if you were to be a boy.

i dont know how i feel about it all,
much like i dont know how i feel about a lot of things.
im tired of feeling as if your all making fun of me.
maybe your not, probably not. but i feel that way, i always have,
always feel removed like you would prefer anyone else but I.
maybe its just my own view on myself that i project onto everyone else..
inferior.

but i am just different to you and you and you.
just as you are different to them and me and that person.
you cannot compare people, but you always do. and my qualities are not yours.
perhaps i am jealous, i want to be everything.
i want to do everything and be good at it all.
instead im not really good at anything.
i dont have any particularly new or exciting ideas or knowledge (but who does?!)
in fact im beginning to believe that i have no idea. about anything.
or at least nothing that i can verbally express.

words are powerful, yes. but so are actions. and i haven't enough of either.
there is a whole lot of responsibility and trust in words.
but they are just noises to represent certain things, and most of the time those things aren't certain at all. they cannot be defined even in a word.
especially emotions. sadness, happiness, anger, love.
and yet if you are knowledgeable in literature and with an extensive vocabulary you are considered intelligent.

people want to be amused.
they want to be surrounded by conversation and words words words all the time.
what about silence? there is alot to say in silence.

you have to be selfish. i believe it helps us understand ourselves,
although i dont know if we ever will. we judge others in an attempt to understand them.
how can we do that?
can we be who we want to be? if we try hard enough, can we become someone we want to become? or are we influenced only by what surrounds us. how can we learn without being told? some way or another.
"i am the combined effort of everyone ive ever met."

all i know, is i dont know.
and neither do you, no matter how hard you try to tell me you do.